Efem

Efem before i met you i was loosing faith in love,seeing things around me and in this world i felt i could not trust anyone,i thought there was no such thing as true love then i met you...and everyday i am thankful for the gift GOD has given me....you

As I lay here in bed, I think of you.You haven’t any clue what you mean to me.Even though you think you do, you will never know quite the way my heart beats when I talk to you ..I love you so much baby and I’m glad

that it’s just you and I. You’re the only one who has ever meant this much to me.You’re the only one that can.
I want us to be forever, and I know we will make it through the good and the bad, for I’ll love you always.

what i feel for you is a feeling so sincere,a bond so strong,I know my soul will never guide me wrong.
so,i have made this choice to love you(in your own words)

love you baby

Death is unfair....

nonso i never knew i could hurt like this.....i was not ready to say goodbye to you...but your disease just took over. its hard to say goodbye.....so i wont...i am having trobule accepting the fact that you are gone so i wont..my only hope is in the fact that i'll see you again....you were one in a million...the news was difficult and it still is difficult to swallow....it was a weary day for a bad occasion .A thousand times i have cried;many tears i have seen and cried they all poured out like the rain,if love could have saved you Nonso ,you never would have died..cos u were loved by so many
A heart of gold stoped beating GOD broke our hearts to prove he only took the best.Nonso you meant so much to me you were speacial and that's no lie.we had our up's and down's,our smiles and frowns but we still managed to get around.I am sad confused and mad because it's not the same without you.I wish you were here i'l give the world to see your face...the fact that you are gone is too much for me to bear anymore.i miss the way you would call me anwuli, you said it was your favourite aunt's name?i miss your smile,i miss your jokes... there are so many things i miss and wish and so many things i wish i would have said...but for now i'll say i love you.....the three words i wish i would have told you repeatedly but death is unfair and there is no compromise ... you will always be in this heart of mine my dearest friend till the end of time......love always

i thought he meant nothing to me..i made a mistake

i thought he meant nothing to me i guess i was wrong.my heart is breaking what have i done?my heart is a heart of pain it has never been able to love after him..i played with his emotions & left him torn what got into me?what was i thinking?he has someone now who loves him dearly but deep down inside i know he still cares about me.wouldn't it be wrong to destroy what he has now?!will it be another mistake?my actions were falsely justified by selfish proud thoughts-i thought i had so much potential ,i thought i could do better ,i had my own description of a man & love i was too proud.how was i to know that one selfish little mistake will come back to haunt me with every breath i take? they say to err is human to forgive is divine but why do the errs always have to be mine...

thoughts about love

love!!!what is the true meaning of this word that is often defiled ?does it truly exist?why do we use the word when we don't mean or believe in it?why is it the only thing that causes heartbreak?why does something said to be so good last for a short period of time?love makes you happy & it also makes you sad.it makes you laugh it also makes you cry.it makes you love life it makes you hate life.it gives life it takes life.it binds the world together it tears it apart..one would wonder if something that is both positive and negative is worth having.!should love be for a life time or should it be enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration?love is deceptive!!!!!!!

lessons

in a dark room staring at the four walls .drowning in an overflowing dam of thoughts & feelings as flashes of the past occurrences taunt me.I only wished i had realized earlier that we are in a world of unexplained mysteries ... I have learnt that it is taking me a long time to become the person i want to be.Don't we all wish we can turn back the hands of time and retrace our steps?don't we all wish to erase a certain chapter in our lives?don't we all wish not to get hurt by friends?don't we all wish for things we cant have?don't we all wish to have true friends around us?two words in this last question stayed with me!! true friends!!does it really exist?then it hit me!!!doing all you can with your heart for your so called true friends will never make them any better or change their attitudes..i then realized that we don't have to change friends once we realize that friends change..life teaches us lessons the most important thing is what you get from them and how you apply them in the future and that maturity has to do with your experiences and what you have learnt from them and less to do with how many years you have lived...

parasites

always looking to get from every avenue they can find with no thought of reciprocating .like a parasite they take from you...they are friends with u because of what they can get from you...they always mistake your being nice for stupidity ..i know what the y want ,i know where they have been,i know their kind!!!visiting me without invitation & taking from me without hesitation..moving from place to place searching for new hosts..they lack knowledge.... and so they perish for lack of this knowledge !!!,now you have left me because you feel i have nothing to give,you think i am patched & depleted...your wrong for i am not down or defeated..and not too long from now, you blood sucking tick you will be down on your knees..

i am black,i am beautiful,i am a woman &i am me....

Black is beautiful!!!black has different shades all of which radiates beauty...black has given color to the world...my shade is light,my shade is fair my shade emits beauty,elegance & purity....My life is sustained by the world of beauty which you will see where ever you rest your eyes, and this beauty is nature itself; it is the beginning of good things...it is me... demeaning words cant counter my belief not ever....i am beautifully and wonderfully made...so therefore i will carry myself with such divinity..my skin is so light brown complexioned,my eyes are of light brown confection ,with curves so round & sublime ....i have all anyone could ask for... i will not be put down!!not ever ..maybe with time the world will learn to embrace my perplexity... i am black ,i am beautiful ,i am a woman,i am me& i am proud...

douleur dans mon ame....sorrow in my soulll

I feel this agonizing pain in my heart,sadness has overshadowed the happiness I once felt,hate has taken over the love I once knew and laughter has turned into idle tears.These tears are from the depths of some divine despair that rise in my heart,I have been lying and thinking of how to find my soul a home!!!!a home it once had....so now I pray and meditate not giving up because I know that hope abides so therefore I abide .I am still alive ,these dark clouds will disappear,the morning sun will appear once again and happiness will overshadow sadness once again........

my secret crush

unexpectedly he breezed by unexpectedly our eyes met!!!!on the spot he took my breathe away,trying to catch it as i sipped on my juice trying my best to control my self and not act suspicious....thinking of how a human being can make your heart race so fast....he smiled at me & said hi i smiled back admiring this being created so beautifully...i had to come up with one of my plans & quick ....b4 i miss on this chance of what could be...what to do i thought to myself battling with my mind....in a state of confusion,blood rushing to my head...then i went blank
words cant describe this beauty he stands before me an infallible piece,defying perfection there i stair at him wishing i could have him .....dreaming of being with him....all this happening in split seconds....and then my worst fear... there she was ...he had a girl...i felt my heart being stabbed over and over then our eyes met & i geared at her with a thousand daggers...wishing he could be locked away with me to appease my most jealous heart....
there i stood my thought ,hopes & desires were slaughtered without mercy & with no plan,....i felt like i had died...i sat down unaccompanied with a trench of disbelief ,absorbing the brutal murder of my reality.....yes i know what you all are thinking!!!!!but in those few seconds i played out the future with him ,he was my reality for few seconds.....i hope i see him again,til then i will keep playing out my make belief reality in my head my secret crush....

reflection

not so used to sharing my feelings or thoughts with people but i cant bear it any longer its killing me.today,i started blogging because i am so tired of being alone,uncomfortable with myself,ugly,no one to talk to and lots more.i feel GOD has turned his back against me thus my misfortunes and bad-luck.
yes they say what goes around comes around.i have toyed with a lot of peoples hearts and heads feeling very special wit my self i guess that explains the loneliness path......
it started out as a fun thing to do but now its a habit,its like no one is good enough for me that's probably why i have never been in a relationship,this is what i cant explain........
over the years i have moved from good -OK-bad-worst;now i am at a point of no return,people assume that i do not have feelings because i hide them...the truth is i hurt inside everyday thinking,wondering what i have become , i am now at a point of no return....pondering on how i let it get s bad.....and what i feel this way...
i have been waiting my whole life on a ring to prove i am not alone....did i make a mistake or did i do the right thing?either way its too late another girl got the ring.....